The Korean Greetings

Annyeonghi Jumuseyo = Good Night!

Identity Seekr

It is my time for examinations recently. The final semester exam of my Junior Year in Advance Diploma in Microelectronics with Computer Communication cum Bachelor of Science Degree in the same major. The name sounded cool huh? Well, it is not that cool actually.

I have been suffering from major procrastination attack ever since young, and I am very very weak in controlling myself to do things. Control freaks are known as 'anals', what about me? The 'orals'? Or the sh*t?

Today I had two papers on 'Data and Computer Communication'. Why two papers? From above, I am in two courses actually, getting an Advance Diploma and a Bachelor Degree, thus I will need to sit for two papers, same syllabus. TARC's culture.

Well, I have been repeating what I have done over the years, which is not preparing well enough for the examination. For past few papers, I have been doing very badly in the Bachelor paper due to lack of preparation and doing quite well in the AdvDip paper thanks to the narrowed scope and the preparation of the Bachelor paper. This is because the Bachelor paper is in the morning, and the AdvDip paper is in the afternoon.

Same thing happened today. This paper is about the TCP/IP stack, the error and flow controls, and the Cisco routers (a.k.a. the CCNA syllabus). Since I am quite interested on networking, and know something about them, I have kind of looked down on this subject, even though I know it is not easy, yet I still ignored it. I did not really studied them until the last minute.

I burned midnight oil, and tortured myself to encode as much information from the slides and the notes given by the lecturer, and try to do the questions in my 'mind' (this is what I failed to do - try).

After one and a half hours of sleep, I got up from my bed reluctantly, get dressed and off to college I go on Suet Ching's car. And I am still sick, suffering from coughs and phlegm.

My first session was bad. I was depressed. Rain cheered me up. I listened to his songs for awhile to lift myself up a little. Yep, I love him. Studied in library and trying to spot questions. Was very nervous. Very very nervous. Thanks Eddie for lifting me through the phone.

Talking about Rain, I bought a magazine which tells a story about him. Bought it since he is my latest addiction. I read about him, and how he does his work as an artiste.

He says, "I always practice 120%, so that I can perform 100% on stage."

Yesh, this is true. We need to work at least 20% more than what we want to perform. I have been a dancer, I know. Well, I guess I need to apply this to my life, to everything I do, especially my exams! Thanks Rain. I hope you will keep pushing me forward. My role model.

I went in to exam hall of the second paper in slight anxiety. Before that, I kind of bumped into some friends, some I said 'Good Luck!', some I avoided, some shocked me by greeting me first. Hmm, lucky I guess. Filled in the particulars, and waited for the exam to start.

I flipped open the question paper, which is printed on yellow coloured papers, and read through the questions. Hmm, it paid off, the questions I managed to do. At least I wrote things in, rather than leaving it blank like the morning paper. I left approximately than 40 marks blank in the morning paper. Pathetic.

I took off to the washroom to pee after I finish half of the paper, a fresh face in the invigilator team accompanied me to the washroom. He is a Malay, a quite hip youth who is around my age, but he should be a few years elder then me. He initiated to talk to me while I was on my way, it was very nice of him to put the exam off a little. He said my course's name sounded cool. Cool. After a small chat, I found that he is from SyUC, and on a semester break. Hmm, does everyone from different college behaves differently?

I went home after the exam, feeling tired and lonely, feeling socially deprived for a sudden. Felt like hanging out with someone at this time, going out talking out loud at yumchar places. After dinner, I went online and check my mails, I read Jennie's blog. She was having a great time in UTAR, and she was being socially active, and it is great. I commented, "Dies.. Suddenly I a bit da regret I didn't change college to study... >.<"

Then, I look back at what I am now. I feel like, I do not have some sense of identity myself. I feel like I am socially deprived. I feel lonely. Looking at some of the Friendster's profiles, they have tonnes of pictures where they took together with friends, showing what they do when they hang out, or am I just ignorant of what I have done? Hmm, points to ponder.

Currently listening to Rain's new album.

文言文分享

鞭者，吊也，君子胯下之物。其数为一。中流砥柱。
与生俱来，浑然天成。昼隐遁迹，夜露峥嵘。
曰老二，曰鸡鸡，曰阳具，曰小弟。
自苦英雄必争物，凡间美人销魂处。
其质若何？腾云青龙。其态若何？觅食白虎。
其色若何？舞空朱雀。其味若何？千年玄武。
硬时如擎天玉柱，静时如菊蕊拥簇。
高耸耸，硬梆梆，红噗噗，滚烫烫。
夺女人贞洁，放男人精髓。
浩浩乎高潮迭起，飘飘然羽化登仙。

Attraction == Distraction?

You must be wandering why I said this. From the first day I started to write blogs, I don't know why I thought of this title. It was like an insight, that I love attention and it caused distraction somehow in someway.

I wanted to actually rant about what I think, but then I think it will cause big changes if anyone were to know about this. Let's just say it is about my personality. My very weird personality.

I was scolded by someone after being brutally transparent about what I feel. Someone special to me. After that, I was feeling very lost, and DANG! I was just nagged by my mum for not sleeping at this hour while I am still sick. Aih. So potong-stim.

OK, let's continue. I was feeling very lost. Then I came up here wanted to rant for awhile. That is when I thought about this. My blog title for about 2 years plus - 'Attraction, Distraction'.

The attraction I got from the way I express myself. Without firewall. With DMZ enabled. All kinds of rubbish go in and out just like this - whoosh. Thus, I infect and got infected by different viruses, trojans, spyware, and whatever which is NOT good; and thus has caused me some precious connection with some real important or prefered host.

When I lost my first prefered host, I did not really quite notice it until a peer sent me some warnings. I was feeling seriously down. A major part of me was in a EMOTION_DISORDER mode. I started coniguring a firewall and did disable DMZ.

Then today, when I went out yumchar with some buddies, I again slipped some very very hurtful things. I feel really really terrible now after I thought of what I have said. Serious awful. Feels like the @wFul virus has attacked me or something. I hope I doesn't lose this precious connection to this host.

The main thing which I want to talk about today, was actually about Y. As what you have read up there, I spilt the 'unspiltable' to B, and B smartly told, or enquire Y about what I have told B. At the moment I told B about what happen is because I did not know what to do with the situation. Well, maybe I have spilt more than that I guess, but the least thing I expect was the tracert of B to Y.



Currently Listening: - Slow Jam (feat. Monica) - Usher

Puerile

Puerile means childishly foolish; immature or trivial.

Example sentence: A puerile piece of writing.

I saw this word on one of CCK's comments on one of the student's test paper. I wouldn't have guessed it actually means this.